DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just found puke in my bra..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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