Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
