remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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