dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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