i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
