Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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