Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
