i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
