3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fill condoms, not promises.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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