K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
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I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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