I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
