the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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