Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
false alarm. still invincible.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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