I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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