you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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