Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
