We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
