so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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