look no pants
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i think we sleep fucked last night...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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