Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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