Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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