Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
