I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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