he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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