I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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