Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
