My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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