my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
