I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
