let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
