Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
