He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
