How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Terrible idea I love it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
