just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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