I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
