Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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