I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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