im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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