i permit you to call me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
