Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
