one might say we're banned from that church
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
