it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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