doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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