I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
