1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
