Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
