What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize