i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
