Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
