i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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