Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he fucked my hip out of place.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
