alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
