why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The struggles of a small town man whore
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
