i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
