No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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