Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
