marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
