I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
