This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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