ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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