thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
