so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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