if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
