He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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