I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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