dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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