Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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