I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bring me that man meat
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
