You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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