How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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